Today is a new Day

One year ago today, my precious mom, Patsy E. Norman Kown, passed away after a 15 year battle with leukemia. This past year has been harder than I ever wanted it to be. Three years ago on September 1, my sweet dad, Tony W. Kown, passed away suddenly from a heart attack. And just 28 days later on September 29, my amazing younger sister, Terri C. Kown Turner, also passed away suddenly from a heart attack. Nine years ago, my older sister, Sherri Snow Robbins, passed away from a short battle with breast cancer.

Dad, Terri and Mom all died on a Thursday. All three were weekend funerals. My mom and dad's funeral were both on a Labor Day weekend. I wasn't ready to say good-bye to any of them. Whoever is, really?

Probably the hardest part of these last three years is going through all of this without my partner in crime, Terri. I just always assumed she and I would handle losing mom and dad together. I am about to be 34 years old in October and my life has turned out to be nothing that I thought it would be......and I'm a planner. So, you can understand how my life being turned upside down hasn't quite set well with me!

I do know one thing for sure. My God has never left my side and He has cried with me. And the best part is - HE STILL HAS PLANS FOR ME! I was getting anxious a couple of weeks ago, knowing that mom's one year death anniversary was coming up. And in the past week, God has spoken to me more than in my entire life! When I opened my bible up to Isaiah, He very clearly told me that it was okay to move on and not dwell on the hardships I have been through. That at this very moment He is making a way for me. A way through the desert and through the mighty waters. He is doing a new thing for me! I am claiming that victory and know it to be true.

God is healing my painful, dreadful memories and allowing me to focus on His plan for my new life now. And He is allowing me to imagine my exciting homecoming in Heaven one day with my family. Oh how wonderful that will be! That is where I will spend my eternity. Loving on my family and praising God and never feeling pain and loss again! Praise God!

So, today, I want to honor my mom and her amazing, strong, spirit, will and determination. Instead of wallowing in sadness and self pity today, I am rejoicing that she is in pain no more and that she is finally reunited with her precious daughters and loving every minute of it. She is trapped no more in her failing body, but completely set free in the power of God and being rewarded for her faithfulness. She would be happy that I am not burdened with her care and she worried so much about how I would handle grieving without her to help me through it. She worried about me being so alone. So have I......but God is MAKING A WAY. And mom would be so happy knowing that I am finding peace and healing.

I love you mom so much. I miss you today more than ever, but instead of raw pain, I feel like I can exhale and smile thinking of you and your love for me. I have been to the pit more times than I want to admit, and most people in my life have had no idea how depressed and in anguish I have been this past year. But, God has been working with me, just as He worked with you and just as the loyal example you showed me in your life, so I WILL BE OKAY! Your blood flows through my veins and your strength is deep rooted inside me. I am striving to set the same example for my girls. And most of all, because of God's grace, His blood has flowed on us.....and has MADE A WAY!

love always,
Lizbeth