She died, but He lives

It's that day again. Except this time it's been five years. I remember thinking the night she died, if in five years it will still hurt so bad. Well, yes and no. She died, but He lives.

I've walked throught he valley of the shadow of death more times than I care to remember. Sometimes it happens all at once, like in the early years and sometimes I turn a corner and don't even realize that I'm stepping into that dark shadow. I dislike those times the most because you don't see it coming. Those times are fewer and farther between, though, and I'm grateful for that.

I really don't want to sound dramatic, but remembering her is a fine balancing act. One must do so carefully. To remember, but not camp out there in that dark place. And when you remember, there are no guarantees that you can run back out of the dark quickly. For me, to remember with just good memories isn't as easy as it sounds. I have a whole flood of family memories because her death is really all tied up with my dad, my mom and my other sister's death. And then that's where it gets overwhelming. They died, but He lives.

Today is the first time I woke up on September 29th and saw a beautiful, blue eyed, crazy haired sweetie looking in my eyes. Hope all warm and soft and sweet. Promises from Him are clearly evidenced today. So, that's what I cling to the most. I believe who He says He is. I believe in His promises. And I believe they are with Him and one day we will all be together.

He is the only one who can fix the broken hearted. She died, but He lives.

He is the only one who truly understands what I feel. She died, but He lives.

He is the Almighty King and He has His hand on my life. She died, but He lives.

Moving forward, we are. I see His healing hand in her friends and our family. I see hope and new life and I am beyond grateful for His love to all of us in our darkest moments. This morning I asked my husband if he had any parting words of encouragement for me today. And he said that I have come a long way and that Terri would be proud.

Indeed she would, we have all come a long way. Because He lives, she now also lives with Him...and the best is yet to come.